i write more when i'm suffering

heres my attempt to write without it (i guess)

There’s this idea that the most beautiful art comes from pain. All artists have suffered to make the beautiful art they’ve made — be it writers like Franz Kafka, Sylvia Plath, Ocean Vuong ; be it artists like Frida Kahlo, Vincent Van Gogh, Edvard Munch. They’ve turned their suffering into something unforgettable. it’s survival rather than just suffering.

Suffering often creates the best, messy kind of art that people “love” or they might just love honesty. i’m not saying you have to suffer to be good at writing, painting or anything in particular, it doesn’t make you talented but it just makes you interesting, messy, relatable in a way that people like.

When you’re suffering, making art becomes more about survival rather than optional. Suffering gives us this pressure to create something because if you don’t, it’ll rot inside.

i only seem to write during the inclemency of life.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been writing the best when I’m the worst and I don’t know what the philosophy behind it is, when life gets easy, i can’t seem to write about it, it’s like all of my creativeness is just drained from writing everything when I’m lower.

i don’t necessarily need suffering to write of course but i feel the most comfortable in writing when i’m spiralling?

my writing identity is built around pain and suffering. I suppose suffering does give you deeper meaning and allows you to actually understand your own depth. It certainly gives me an escape to turn my suffering into something meaningful. Isn’t that the purpose of writing? turning something painful into ink? However, indulging in sadness to write something makes me scared of myself because peace feels a bit unsettling because I can’t seem to write about it as much as i want to.

maybe i write to know that my suffering didn’t just make me suffer but made me create something beautiful, it is a way to keep me sane and true to myself but i’m more true when i’m happy i suppose writing is a way for me to get control over something uncontrollable but when i’m happy i’m more in the moment rather than wanting control, i just take it in.

My creativity isn’t dependent on sadness or suffering and it might be really limiting to just write when i’m only suffering so i tell myself i’ll write more in joy too and i might try to as i am right now.

i’m in hunger to create and i will not let suffering be the only thing that lets me create or at least i’ll try to.

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thank you for reading!!